It takes nothing to smile they say …
It does … it takes conscious effort , redirection of thought process , generating willingness to move the face muscles.
It’s not always about being peaceful and happy inside.
Then why have we come to think that any action that we struggle to regulate should be voluntary.
(Eg: mothers should stop yelling)
Who invented that merit?
You should be kind 
Voluntarily 
Patient 
Voluntarily
Obedient 
Voluntarily
Happy 
Voluntarily
Sacrificing 
Voluntarily
Enduring 
Voluntarily
Accommodating 
Voluntarily
WHO CAME UP WITH THIS NOTION AND THEN SAID WHOEVER DOES NOT DO IT IS NOT A GOOD PERSON. 
To give willingly, voluntarily is altruism. It’s like a muscle you develop over time with exercise and commitment.
Even if it is for your children! We are incapable of continually generating it.
Being a believer never meant being a volunteer to anything you were not ready to learn, practice and then adopt.
Adab, Ikhlaq, good manners, kindness are practiced best when they are displayed genuinely. Because one wants to be that kind, patient human being.
I am not a happy person and I have to sit with this thought process ..
Do I want to be happy ?
Do I want to be calm ?
Do I want to have what it takes to live peacefully and spread joy around me?
Yes .. ok then, let’s get to work.
And then starts the gruel practice of constant break and make.
Now what we assume is
Success 
Appreciation 
Understanding 
Wow effect 
Applaud 
Validation 
but the matter of fact is what we gain is
Experiences
Good and bad both!
What we lose is self doubt 
self loathing
and if consistent then finally disappointment in self 
Not everyone is going to understand our journey. They aren’t going through the metamorphosis of self awareness, building of confidence and letting go of ego.
They will see you as someone either becoming a “good” person or a “strange fellow” well “weirdo” to be exact.
But only you will know, it is taking everything from you to be consciously and willingly the best version of yourself.
So the next time someone says
“oh common, cheer up it takes nothing to be kind…. “
Remember it takes everything to be anything good.
You can’t spill kindness, calmness, positivity if the the heart is battered, wounded and bleeding.
Specially not to your children, spouse or family.
You decide what you want your life story to be like and then work on it.
No more auto pilot actions and reactions and then emotional crashes. 
Work on you. 
Slowly, quietly, consistently, diligently, bravely, in pauses.
Being present in the moment is good but wanting to be present in the moment is better. 
Effortlessly no one is in the moment! 
Remember that.
There is WILLINGNESS TO BE 
so you decide, what are you willing to do for you today.
Take a sip of water, breathe, admit your weakness, ask Allah Al Qawaye القوي for strength . The word (القوة) means willpower.
and Al Wahab ( the bestower of gifts ) for the gifts you want to nurture in you.
Our journey is life long. And so should be our willingness to live it fully.
