Often people are asked, “ Will you do it all over again?”
I have always found this question odd .
My first response is no two experiences are the same.
Why do I say that?
The process might be same but the experience cannot be.
Emotions, times of the day, seasons, company you have and your own attitude vary each time.
So let’s re-frame the question, would you like to enjoy this experience again?
Then the response can be a yes or a no.
Again there is no guarantee the experience was a pleasant one.
For eg:
A tantrum throwing toddler,
A defying teenager and
an ability challenged child bullied at school… or even at home or family gatherings…
but later on after a number of
years of constructive work,
connection building and
interventions
lots and lots of encouragement support and dua. …
when things become smooth,
when the storm has passed,
when you see the positive outcome of all the hard work done,
the duas manifested and
our own physical self weak with fatigue and fighting the odds for so long…
We would say, Alhamdulilallah, I was able to endure my end of the bargain. I do not know how I did it… Allah Subhanahu Wa TALA the most merciful brought me ease…
His promise is true…
Verily, with hardship comes ease” (Surah Ash-Sharh, 94:6)
When you are able to see how far that has brought us as parents, all we can say is Alhamdulilallah and make lots of shukr.
No one wants hardship, or trial and yet no one can avoid it.
Allah knows how impatient we become.
Allah knows even now when I am writing this how hard it is for me to focus, as I try to launch my Anew parenting webinar in a few hours. ( An intensive class for parents of teens.I will have the recording for you to purchase later and yo can have a lifetime access to it,In Shaa Allah)
While working constantly on the blog, videos, uploads, making reels to reach the audience organically not to mention the Confrence launch that these 6 wonderful sisters and I working on. My children are around me, trying to get my attention.
I have heard them say about 20 times today ”mama is not listening, she does not care and then wink at each other.”
And to test me further they would say something absolutely absurd, get my reaction and feel so happy I am paying attention. “ Haha so mama does care, so she is listening”
I sit at the kitchen table usually, to do my work. With all three of them around me, this is my way of letting them know I am here. I want them to see me work, I ask for their advice. They give unsolicited opinions all the time, and we have a good laugh.
They are playing hangman at the moment while I write this.
I won’t have the chance to do it all over again ever.
this is my one shot
my one chance to parent
my one chance to be successful in gaining their love respect and admiration
my one chance to make them believe that after Allah Subhanahu Wa TALA as parents we are their support and will try our best to parent them with Ahsan.
I am not sure of how far I will get to prove all of the above things, but Alhamdulilallah that Allah Subhanahu Wa TALA rewards us for intentions too.
I am trying, like any one reading is, to make the best of our time here.
There are second chances and third and fourth to correct actions but not to live moments.
Experiences can be re-created but the essence of it will always be different.
I guess, I wanted to say was, live in the moment, attentively, graciously. It’s important.