Day 16 Heart Homework: On the topic of modesty.

Modesty/ Haya culture …

As a parent of an adolescent age group, I am learning very quickly that Haya / modesty conversations for our household have gone from just clothes, tv and music to use of appropriate language and choice of online spaces they share or come across.

The books they read, the jokes they share, the memes they like and forward….

So much garbage out there and to sift from it is impossible.

I went from

“I need to protect my children from this to I have to let them choose wisely. “

And trust me it was not an easy job. It was a struggle to let go … and






Because my job

is giving them the message

Modeling Haya myself

And talking to them daily, one on one and in general about the filth we knowingly and sometimes unknowingly take in

There is a desensitization to Haya and it’s been going on for years now. You just realize it when you hit that part of your parenting journey, when you have to DEAL with it.

I agree that language changes, the parameters of what’s ok and normal to discuss has changed rapidly.

Talking to my children about the monthly cycles or appropriate physical affection , sex ed and LGBTQ issues is good, important, sound education.

In fact it’s become a necessity so that they don’t go exploring and find nonsensical info from others.

I would rather have open discussions and conversations to learn and understand their point of view as well.


Choosing from books, revising them ourselves to detect anything harmful and then putting it forward as their reading entertainment or study,

The prodigious amount of filthy entertainment on Netflix, amazon prime, Hulu, Youtube, and It goes on an on .. And going though frustration to choose what to pick.

Hours of mindless discussion and conversations on an “Episode”

The Celebrity Crush

The Hit couple

Who broke up with whom

Who wore what and where …

Who bought the biggest engagement ring

Who spend millions to tie a knot

What cars they have and where they live..

And trust me it does not matter if I say we will have all this in jannah 🙂 it’s the hustle culture that they are learning, that they think, it will work, that they see that as non problematic ..

They don’t see the compromises to deen, to our Akhirah when ogling all the glammed posts and followers and likes of social media sensations.

Their addiction to teen soaps filled with nudity, killing, foul language and stripping away of the ethics of boundaries in the name of entertainment is not acceptable.

Haya ..Modesty .. has not died.. it is just drowning miserably …in the noise of Hashtags and What’s trending.

Haya has and always trend for the believers. For the ones who strive for Taqwa.

And I want to add this, it is a journey. Everyone will fail, fall and get back on the path.

My job as a parent to let them know the path, walk on it.

They will leave my hand to wonder off. But they will know where to come back to when they are ready…. SIRAT AL MUSTAQEEM.