When I hear the mothers dissatisfied, unhappy and being guilty of not taking the gratitude pill often, I see my old self in them.
I remember I had the same story. I would be tired and fatigued, thinking when will this end.
Some good people in life told me , have patience this is just a phase, it will pass. I did not trust them but then; time doesn’t stop and seasons do change. You either gain wisdom or actually dig your own grave of misery. Somewhere along the two choices we pick our future story.
What I hope moms specially first time moms would understand:
1: You don’t have to be doing chores all the time, as a mother sit down talk to your children watch a movie trying to spend quality time with them
2: An undeniable fact is, a mother who is exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally is never satisfied with the amount of energy she is pouring into her motherhood. She is constantly judging herself and losing confidence.
If you know that feeling , then it’s time
to recharge, figure out a way to support your mental, emotional and physical health.
Get into a support group,
( Facebook groups are not ideal all the time but there is a variety to choose from, keep searching until you find a good fit for you )
get into therapy,
find a coach ,
do daily walks
if nothing else at least increase your Zikr time and meditation time
But don’t think scrolling on IG, TIK TOK, REELS is ME time.
IT IS NOT. It is only increasing your stress and dissatisfaction.
Some hard facts
The happy couples out there are not always happy
The happy healthy babies out there are not even close to the challenges your child might be facing which feeds off to the thought process “ Why me?”
The good resources out there to help develop a sound, confident and helpful mindset have books, websites , courses and classes. Instead of scrolling through social media, invest into these, if that’s your idea of me time.
A break means …
No phones
No calls
No screen time
No online streaming
It means sitting with self…
shutting off all noise
A nap
A bath
A good quiet meal
An allotted time for tahajud
Exercise
Writing
Reciting
You don’t need to send kids somewhere all the time to get these things done!
Do it when they are napping
Do it when they are around busy in play
Do it when you have another adult with them .
How to check if you need a break?
1: if you are constantly agitated, yelling and jumpy at little things
2: if you are more inclined to negative thoughts before thinking positive
3: if self doubt seeps in more than often
4: if you are constantly sad for your self and at how life has panned out
5: if you are waiting for everyone else to fix your problems, or themselves
6: if you unfiltered and constant noise of people around you with negative talk, ungrateful attitude and imagining the worse from everyone
7: if your idea of spending a good time is constantly gossiping about others and demeaning people
Remember you are responsible for you.
The house we grew up in cannot be reversed
The children and spouse we have is our present reality
The behaviors we adopt, change and challenge today will definitely define our future.
It’s hard to realize this but we are our own best friend or enemy.
Choose who you want to be, for you.