I read somewhere some time ago, all problems aren’t meant to be solved, some just need to be heard.
Easier said than done. Especially when we are functioning from a fixed mindset, or our emotional triggers aren’t resolved or we were unable to develop a sense of empathy for our children just because that approach is unheard of in our surroundings.
Whether it is a past emotional trauma, or something happening to us in the present, it is extremely important to keep our role as a parent in check.
I am still learning, I get triggered still, but I reel back too, but by then the damage is done.
The good part about being human is our grit and resilience. We fall but only to stand bak again. Alhamdulilallah.
Coming to our children, I think as parents we are so attuned to thinking of the worst possible scenarios, that at times that we don’t stop to think before reacting.
When that happens,
I suggest let’s do
“Heart Homework”
We take a good look into our emotions, what we are feeling, write it down, settle our ego and judgment and then think of an action plan.
I am laughing in my head while writing this. I have done this a few times but I have failed miserably at it many more times.
But it’s worth a try. It helps us, it helps the child, it helps the relationship.
My stance has always been to accept the fact
we are flawed,
we will fall,
we will make mistakes a million more times than the right decisions and that’s the fragility of being a human.
I believe we can alwasys alwasy turn around. And the reason for that belief is Allah‘a promise to us. He says He has made us such that at any point we can turn towards Him, He is the turner of hearts.
So open up your journal,
Start writing with me.
I propose that for the next 6 weeks, I will write everyday in my journal to share with you.
That means 42 days to be exact.
ok let’s make it 40 days ..
come along with me and be inspired to read and write 40 days of self reflection of parent journaling …
authentic, unaltered and original thought process with Irambintsafia.
Heart journal Day 1:
Alhamdulilallah, I start with gratitude. I recognize that being able to write, ya Rab is a blessing. This is my effort to start healing, understanding myself and my surroundings better.
Today I want to admit:
Yesterday was a bad day, I gave in to my ego and purposely hurt my child. I wanted to assert my point of view so badly that I let all the ugly out.
Later when the realization struck me, I asked her. What was going through your head when I behaved so meanly. She said calmly, ” Mama I got scared”
I kept quiet. I asked Allah Subhanahu Wa TALA to forgive me. I kissed her, apologized and we went on with our day.
I know the memory will live with her. And if I don’t make an effort to undo the hurt through love and care, that ugliness will leave its mark.
Ya Allah Ya Jameel, please make my words and my actions beautiful. Ya Muhaymin protect me and my children from harm, ameen.
I am happy they are healthy.
I recognize this huge blessing Ya Rab.I did nothing to deserve this mercy and gift from You. Their health is something at the time of birth I had no control over and if they fall sick or dont live until their years of maturity healthily, I recognize the fear, burden and helplessness in that.
I am grateful Ya Tab , I am grateful for this gift, Ya Wahab.
I humble myself today.
I will pick up the pen tomorrow again, for now I am in Shukr, through words, actions and mere recognition. I am a human .. flawed but sincere in my effort. Alhamdulilallah Ya Rab, Alhamdulilallah for the ability to recognize and be able to ponder. Rest dear soul.. if God wills, wake up tomorrow again to begin the day..
Write to me, if you would like to share a page from your diary, if you want me to mention it in my writings.. I will take your excerpt and add it to my daily diaries..maybe you will inspire me or someone somewhere reading .. our thoughts and reflections.
Bismillah to Heart homework with IrambintSafia.