Because I learned very late into my parenthood that
No One Taught me

1: My motherhood is not my entire identity

2: Motherhood was not the reason I felt lost

3: Motherhood does not mean I am going to be happy and feel fulfilled all the time , I need to understand I am a human first, mother second who wants to serve the family with love and care but needs to learn to connect with Allah and self first

4: Childhood matters, it’s stories shape us but we as humans are resilient, evolving mentally emotionally spiritually and no matter what kind of childhood one has had, the stories don’t need to be repeated. The subconscious cycles need to be acknowledged and can be broken. It requires commitment and belief that we can change.. Allah Subhanahu Wa Tala has given us the power to heal, adapt, learn, recover .. the scientific term known today is Neuroplasticity.

5: Studying and learning about Temperaments , Trauma , CPTSD, Hyper-vigilance, dysregulated nervous system, vitamins , minerals ,being vigilant about foods, choosing a healthy lifestyle, recovering from addictions is ALL MY RESPONSIBILITY.

NO ONE CAN CHANGE THINGS FOR ME
I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR ME AND I NEED TO GIVE MYSELF GRACE, SELF COMPASSION AND KNOW THAT I AM AN ABD OF ALLAH AND HE WANTS US TO LIVE A LIFE OF EXCELLENCE, AHSAN . That requires, BUILDING STRONG HEALTHY CHARACTER AND CONTINUE WORKING ON IT.